But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you." Exodus 3:11-12
A couple of weeks ago, I received some devastating news. I know that many people receive this news every day, but that knowledge doesn't help with the sting. My employer decided it was time to part ways. I'm not the sole bread-winner so we will survive on reserves for the next month or so, but the departure was unexpected and uncalled for. I could play the blame game and everyone who worked with me should actually know what kind of company they are working for, but that won't do anyone any real good. Instead of dwell on the hurt, I'm preparing for a future that was in the game plan for years.
I graduated from college in 2007 with the intention to go directly to grad school for physical therapy. I don't know why I was drawn to it as a profession. I can honestly say I was called to do it. Unfortunately, I chose to let my fear take control of my heart and went into the workforce. Since then, I have worked in sales and collections. As one might expect, the world quotas and forecasts is not a comfortable home for someone who wants to use their hands to heal. I'm simply not aggressive enough to force people into buying something they don't want or spending money they don't have.
But, on the day my previous employer said "good-bye," my life changed. I threw my hands up to God and told him that I was scared and lost and confused. I took that job believing it's where He wanted me. Why, then, had it worked out so poorly? Why had I been placed in a position that, despite how hard I worked, ultimately ended in failure? So, with no where else to turn, we went to church that Sunday hoping that being in His house would start the healing process just a little, but I had no idea God would be so obvious with His love and guidance.
As soon as I walked into the sanctuary, I started crying. (Of course, this would be the one time I hadn't stuffed a random fast food napkin or a pack of tissues in my purse.) I have no idea what the sermon was about. I didn't hear a word of it. I just started silently talking to God. I've always had that kind of relationship with Him. As a child, I would dance in my grandmother's living room and tell her I was dancing with God. Even when I blatantly defied Him, I always felt His presence. It was still surprising and moving when I heard His response. I asked Him what I was supposed to do now. How could I move on and where should I turn? He just said "I told you." I knew at that moment what He meant. He had led me to the right career and life years ago. He put it in my heart and wanted me to find and follow that path again. At the end of the service, the pastor got back up on stage. He said "I don't know who you are, but God just told me that there is someone here who is lost and scared. He wants me to tell you it will be okay." I lost it. I've been going to church for 27 years and I have never had a pastor get up at the end of the service and say that.
I'm reminded a bit of Moses and God's call to him to confront Pharaoh about releasing the Israelites, a daunting request to say the least. Now, I know that I am nothing like Moses, but it feels like God did put a burning bush in my path. It felt as though He was saying "Well, FINALLY! Something got your attention. Now, listen." Of course, just like Moses, I was reluctant. What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't get in to school? What if the loans fall through and I can't pay for graduate school?
Remember, however, that God reached out His hand to make the task He assigned to Moses possible. I had actually met with the head of admissions to PT school the day before I was fired. He encouraged me to try for early decision (I didn't think that was an option because I still hadn't taken my GRE) and told me that they would accept self-reported GRE scores. That meant that I had exactly 15 days to take the GRE to qualify for early decision. Several things lined up so that I was able to take the test in a city 3 hours away the following week. If I had still been working, there was no chance for me to take the GRE until September. I also have one remaining prerequisite to take. Of course, not being employed, I was concerned about the cost. My husband just received an unexpected bonus that more than covered the cost of the class. Another note about that class, I wouldn't have been able to take it if I was still working because none of the class times aligned with my current schedule.
I'm not one to "Bible beat." I very rarely witness to people. I know that's something I should do more often, but I don't normally have stories that I think are worth sharing and I hate the idea of stepping on toes or offending someone. The last thing I want to do is alienate someone because of my religion, but God has always been a big part of my life and I certainly don't share His good works enough. I just wanted to share this story to show just one example of how God moves in our lives. He may have a plan that absolutely terrifies you, but He will provide a means for that to happen if you truly put your faith in Him and are willing to follow His guidance. If you make the effort to follow His plan, He will surprise you in beautiful ways you never thought possible.
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